The holiday's here...ba DA ba dum..and I'm feelin' blue...ba DA ba dum...

Wish someone would tell me...ba DA be dum...jus' what I should do...be DA bad um...

How often do our holiday songs take on a blue hue as frustration and impatience shout down love and joy? Fresno Pacific University Psychology Professor Jay Pope has heard this tune and has some ideas on how to get your life back into a major key. He tells you how to make this busy time of year rock in this Scholars Speak.

The holiday blues: Elvis sang about them and people bring them up every year. Depression can happen any time, but the glow of the holidays might deepen your blues by contrast, so let’s consider causes and solutions.

Unrealistic expectations: Much as a bride on her wedding day might treat a snag as a catastrophe, some people have a fantasy script for the “perfect Christmas” and react severely when things aren't exactly right.

Recommendation: Over-planning Christmas has the same effect as over-planning a vacation, and makes it about as fun. Choose one or two themes and keep your focus there. Be available for others. Years from now, your family will most fondly remember your presence and thoughtfulness, not how much money you spent.

Missing those remembered more: When a loved one is absent something seems profoundly missing. People who aren't with their families during Christmas may also feel out of place. I will never forget my middle school teacher tearfully recalling being in Vietnam 20 years earlier, singing Silent Night on Christmas Eve in a strange land with soldiers he didn't know. He had still not gotten past that trauma.

Recommendation: Grieve healthfully for those who aren't with you, but balance your feelings with gratitude for having known this person in the first place.

Hazards of winter: During long, dark winter days your pineal gland secretes more melatonin, which can cause fatigue. Seasonal Affective Disorder (a depressive disorder) affects people vulnerable to extended darkness. People are also prone to exercising less and are more likely to catch colds and viruses during cooler months.

Recommendation: Get an early start on your New Year’s resolution with regular, moderate-intensity aerobic workouts. Exercise stimulates the release of endorphins, your body’s natural painkiller, and helps boost your mood.

Six weeks of chaos: Fifty years ago, Christmas lasted one week. People put up their trees three or four days before Christmas and took them down shortly after. Now it lasts from Thanksgiving until New Year’s—a month of lines, parties, traffic, travel arrangements, delays and hunting for a parking space.

Recommendation: Take control of your schedule. Don't go to parties you'd rather avoid (okay, maybe one) and spend quiet evenings at home. Take time to rest and limit your shopping to two well-planned days. Accept that your patience will be tried and that everything will take you twice as long.

The temptation of holiday debt: The desire to overspend can be overwhelming.

Recommendation: Parents who buy their kids expensive presents say more about their needs than those of their kids. Love isn't about the cost of gifts but the thoughtfulness of the giver. Your child will love two special gifts that hit the target way more than 12 gifts that are mediocre.

Alcohol: Holiday parties mean alcohol, a depressant that interferes with sleep, motor coordination, inhibition and thinking. It’s also immensely destructive to internal organs.

Recommendation: Limit your drinking. If you cannot get through the holidays without alcohol, you have a problem. Do not get into serious family conversations while under the influence, lest you say something you will regret.

Taking stock and not liking what you see: Often people are guilty of the hindsight bias (erroneously thinking that they should have known all along what the right choices were) and do not like the fruits of their labors. “I could be making more money.” “I could be doing things better.” “I made many mistakes as a parent.” “I should lose more weight.”

Recommendation: Be realistic. You've done better than you think. Balance your self-criticism with recognition for what You've done well and approach the New Year as a chance to learn from your mistakes. Get some perspective by volunteering to help some of the many people considerably worse off than you.

Post-Christmas letdown: Some people feel let down after realizing the presents have all been opened. Some catch more sleep. Others, paradoxically, get addicted to stress and go shopping the day after Christmas.

Recommendation: Embrace your post-Christmas crash. Your exhaustion isn't abnormal; it’s your body’s way of telling you you're spent. Indulge a couple of lazy days around the house. If you cannot relax, consider how addicted to stress you might be.

In the same way that Scrooge pledged to keep Christmas every day of the year, endeavor to maintain a sense of balance, perspective and gratitude through the holiday season and beyond. Don't buy in to the madness. Focusing on love, joy, peace—the important things—can cure even the most Grinchy spell of the blues.